Consistently Inconsistent

Goddammit!!!!

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry after one of my most recent outings. I’ve been playing rather well lately, shooting in the low 80s for the last several rounds. My ball striking is also decent with straight drives and crispy iron shots. Even putting seems like I’m using the correct end of the club.

So why then, can my game go completely to shit over the course of a few holes?

I put a 38 on the card for the front nine the other day – a respectable 2 over par. I almost felt like a real golfer there for a little while. I put a 47 down on the back after an absolute meltdown over a six hole stretch – double, birdie (yay!), double, double, double, double, double, par, par.  I went from hitting the ball well to firing extreme laterals off of the tee to the left and right. (I can’t bring myself to use the word that rhymes with “blanks” for fear I will catch that horrible virus and never be free of it.) I also reverted to my neat little trick of taking a divot the approximate size and shape of a roll of sod off a perfect lie in the fairway. Anyone need some turf for a lawn project?

I know the Ray Floyd/Ray Charles rounds happen to everyone – my personal best was a 50 on the front side with a 37 back. And it’s very important the order that they come in. Shitty front 9 and good back 9 is what you’re looking for when this happens. They also seem to come on without any warning. I can go from respectable amateur to absolute fucking hack in less than a hole and I’ll never be able to figure out why. Sometimes the wheels can go back on and other times (like the most recent round) they are gone for good. Where does your swing go when it leaves you? I hope it has a good time while it’s gone.

So who is the real golfer – the respectable one or the hack? I’m just looking for some consistency here and it would be nice to know what to expect. I can prepare for disaster with a bag full of beers and a cigar. And good play is rewarding in and of itself. But the inconsistency is a killer!

All I can do is chalk it up to the highs and lows if this crazy game. Thank god for the 19th hole!