Furry Little People

 

We have dogs. Two of them. A yellow lab and a golden retriever. They’re dogs. Keep saying that over and over again. Dogs.

So why, then, do we think of them as furry little people that live with us in our house? 

We certainly treat them like people. We talk to them. Buy them things. Let them up on the furniture. Our lab even sleeps with us on our king size bed. Somehow I don’t think that the evolutionary history of the dog included a memory foam mattress.

In many ways they act like people too. They always enjoy a hearty meal with us right at the table. They gladly jump in the car and travel with us wherever we go. They walk around the house like they own the place. I think, deep down, they think they are people. 

We, as dog owners, project human characteristics onto our furry little friends. We think they get mad, get sad, get happy, and feel all the same human emotions we do. But do they really?

When we go out to dinner, our lab seems sad that we’re leaving and not dining with him, then he sometimes gets angry and turns over the trash can and makes a mess. But is he sad and angry or just doing what an unsupervised dog does when left alone with a full trash can?

Dog – the people have left me alone at meal time. I don’t know how long they will be gone so I better root through this container of delicious garbage in case I don’t get fed for awhile.

Each of our furry little friends has a job to do. Self-imposed, of course.

Our lab is within 15 feet of us at all times. His job description is to be on call 24-7, available at a moment’s notice in case we need a dog for something. Watching TV? On the couch with his head on your lap. Sitting on the toilet? Three feet away with his eyes locked on you. Swimming in the pool? Observing every splash from the safety of the chaise lounge (he doesn’t swim). Mickey the lab ready for duty!

Our golden has a different set of responsibilities. Her job description includes, but is not limited to:

• Supervising the preparation of each dish of every meal. Ingredients are sniffed, taste tested and certified fresh before they are added to any recipe. 
• Pre-washing all of the dishes in the dishwasher before we run it. Particularly delicious items like spatulas are sometimes eaten.
• Greeting us at the door when we return home and providing a full report on everything that happened while we were gone. Thunderstorms require a very lengthy explanation.
• Alerting us to every small desert creature that passes by the backyard fence that could be chased, killed and eaten. 

Once these jobs are done, she takes a well deserved break on her dog bed. 

But we can’t be with them all the time. When we travel we do not board our dogs, we hire someone to move into our home and stay with them. We think they are sad while we’re gone and miss us terribly. Then, when we call to check in with the dog sitter, they are always having a good time and doing fun things. Traitors. 

Dog – Chris and Ruth are gone? I guess we live with this person now. I hope he knows how to prepare dinner the right way and lets me sleep on his bed.

Then we come home and the dog sitter leaves. 

Dog – Well, that was a fun visit with that person fun but now Chris and Ruth are back and we have to go back to our regular jobs.

Other random dog musings:

Do you think that when you take your dogs for a walk they feel obligated to poop so you can pick it up and carry it with you? 

Dog – these people seem to enjoy carrying around my excrement in a small plastic bag. I shall attempt to produce as much of it as possible so they are not disappointed.

And do they even like walks? 

Dog – Dammit here we are walking around this neighborhood yet again. I really wish we could be home in the air conditioned house but these people seem to enjoy wandering aimlessly up and down the sidewalks when it’s 100 degrees out. Sigh, I guess I’ll go along.

Do they enjoy eating the same thing every day?

Dog – I have eaten this exact meal of small burnt brown balls approximately 1,972 times in a row. What’s a dog gotta do to get some variety around here?

Why do they always puke in the most conspicuous, difficult to clean place in the entire house?

Dog – Approximately 98.375% of this house is tile flooring. I better barf right in the middle of the one and only area rug in the living room. My dinner contrasts nicely with the flower pattern.

Our dogs are our companions, our kids, and our best friends. Always there for us and always happy to see us. It’s hard to imagine life without these furry little people.